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❤*Your SENSE with my LOVE* o(‧'''‧)oit is time to fly up high*_* 9/1/2009 临行仿佛昨天还拿着记事小本仔细记录关于爱丁堡生活学习的一切，明天就准备收拾一切离开这个美丽安静的城市。不忍回想当初，那种陌生又有点胆怯的心情，在一年中，变得成熟坚强，变得稳重得体。恍惚的眼神不再凝望高高的城堡，坚定地回头看着走过的点点滴滴，霎时觉得一切如梦境般不真实，却又能从岁月的痕迹中找到成长的足迹，究竟是我们错过了岁月，还是岁月抛弃了我们。 想回忆一年中的点滴，发现情感密密麻麻铺满心底，太多的温馨，太多的感动，太多的抱歉。开心地欢笑过，没有形象地打闹过，为朋友心疼过，也任性地说出狠话过。一切的一切，印证人生的朴实。喜怒哀乐，包含其中。不想被情绪打扰，突然发现一切都很平淡，没有高潮迭起的爱，没有跌入谷底地恨。时间洗涤了思想，让一切看起来清澈透明，谁的好，谁的怀，不再纠结。那些曾经陪伴过的，不管今后是否还有交集，也算是应了前世的缘，报了前世的债。形形色色的表情，错综复杂的心情，或许真是命运轮盘选定的，在这一世汇聚一起。
和朋友吃了散伙饭，却因为自己的问题变得不欢而散。我感到抱歉，却无法控制任性的冲动和悲伤的洋溢，或许自己也不知道，离别的伤感早已埋在心底，强颜欢笑，不过让自己变得压抑，扭曲。倔强，如头上的角，伤了别人，也痛了自己。把自己关在屋子里，等待临行的那一刻，让自己沉淀，舍弃一切带不走的。 如果人生有际遇，或许我还能有机会回到这个城市，走着相同的路，看着相同的人，吃着相同的美食。只不过，无法再单纯地做着相同的事。不如就幻想一下，那些许过的愿都能实现，那些口头的承诺都能兑现，我们都不会被现实剥落得只剩赤裸裸的欲望和贪婪。或许，美梦成真，或许，一切尽在不言中。      1/4/2009 Sophie is a lucky girl i am so lucky that i am on the way toward my dream, i am so lucky that all my friends take care of and respect me, i am so lucky that most of my relatives support me and always kept me as a child, i am so lucky that my family love me and will be my side forever.
never felt that i am lucky, never felt that people can treat me well and forgive every mistake that i had made. but every time i felt lonely, sad, they just be my side to support me. i said i am boring now, then huolong and pangpang will immediately send messages to chat with me, although per message costs 1 RMB. i said i would miss my dear hong, then she remembered to send me email when she reached the youth hotel in Spain. i said i missed the chinese food, then both my mother and momo bought lots of instand noodles and lipton milktea and other snacks to send to me. sometimes i can be very childish, i was angry about taogan's girlfirend, then he just called and said sorry, i said i wanna see pangpang's girlfriend, he just sent me her photos. i said i did not know the way to the airport, then dear hong and guiren took me to the airlink bus station in the early morning. i remembered i said i wanted someone to write letters to me, then chenfeng wrote emial to me and kept doing this whenever i said i wanted it and i remembered that i could call datou whenever i want to express my angry and happiness. also, everytime i got on qq, i would receive messages from my dear brother saying that he missed me.
they are just around me, and i am always like a queen. maybe it is not good, but i like the view. i thank them and i treasure them. everyone who treats me with true heart, i will give back mine, and protect them from any harmness. i never want to make lots of friends, to know someone who is famous, i just need people with love and that is enough. i only need those people who leave me happniess and laughter in my life, and support me in the back when i am in tears. we all have dreams, and we all fight for that. you have my promise my friends, when the days come that my dream come true, you are welcome to my world, like i have said. you can choose anything you like, and i am glad to see our brilliant future together, sitting under the sunshine, with Chanel sandlas, LV bags, Dior jewlery, miumiu sunglasses and Tiffany dimond rings. 10/12/2008 gossip girlusually i want to say that i was quite busy all these weeks in ED, but actually, i still find sometime to relax myself, to hang out with my friends, and, to watch "gossip girl".
maybe i am really out of time that i start to watch this tv drama soo late when everyone is strugglin in the second season, but i wanna say, the drama is fantastic. i love the clothes they r wearing, i love the jewllery they r showing and i love the life they r living. they r free, they r happy, they r east upper siders.
i really love Serina, although Blaire may show up to be more pretty face. i like the style of her and the way she talks, walks, and laughs. soo natural, so elegant. this blond hair girl, she really attracts my attention and unlike Blair who is really a girl that is good at playing tricks and fights,i feel the inside beauty of Serina, she can give up her pride to apologize to her best friend and be with her whenever she needs her. she doesnt care Blair's cold words towards her coz she know the personality of her best friend. Blair is a prideful lady who is surrounded by vanity and calculation, but at least, she is kind-hearted, she is soo spoon-fed that she is kinda missing who she really is. however, i wanna say, i dont like Jenny at all... to me, she is such a bitch!! she feels shame about her poor family, and she wants the luxury life, and she thinks she is gonna be one part of the rich. silly Jenny, when she dares to steal the Valentino dress from her friend, she is gone. she is soo addictive into the blingbling, and she cannot get out. i hate the way she plays tricks with Blair, she showed to be soo mean. she wanna defeat Queen B? that is impossible. the naive girl is changing, to be wat? i really cannot tell.
beside, i also dont like Nate. i dont know wat he is doing in the relationship with Blair. does he really love Blair? or just for compensation for the loss of his family? he should have known that he betrayed Blair once, but he could not forgive Blair did the same thing to him.... why he just cannot accept the break even?Selfish, that is the only word in my mind.
i am kind becomin a fan of Dior Vernis, i start to love the corlor i bourght, the red and the chocolate. sooo sparking, soo brilliant. i am still waiting for my UGG to come, so is my Topshop dress. that would be fun and i am enjoying it.
anyway, study is study, and is one big part in my life in ED, my spare time, i should use it effectively. i am going to be wat i am wanna be, just make efforts, and will be successful!~ 9/2/2008 predestinationi believe that our life tracks are destinated when we were born. the place we were born, the parents that are going to raise us up, the people that we are going to be with for a whole life time. sometimes it is not about the choice that we make, it is about our destiny we hold. after we were born onto this world, all we need to do is following the track that is designated for us and try not to lose direction. we may sometime wanna change or fight to break the rules, but it just seemed cannot be modified. i saw some people that i know were sufferring sth that is hard and troublesome, and they were even struggling about their lives nd familes. i really feel sorry to them and at the same time i feel so lucky that i have a wonderful family which is fufilled only with love. my family, they respect me and trust me, they will never put their own thoughts onto mine nd force me to follow. the only thing they will do is helping my under my will to step closer to my dream nd i am really appreciate it.
maybe it is really unfaire that we cannot choose our family, our parents and our lives. so many people just fight for free, free of their own tracks. will they be successful? i dont know, but at least they tried. no one's live is a tragedy, but they do need to pay sth. some devote their family to their business, some devote their happiness to their desire. this might be called the opportunity cost. what is the really thing that we are heading for? which is more important? we gonna choose, nd we should be ready to pay.
moniter said that someone was waitin for me in uk, nd i dont know whether it's true. even there is really sth tat can be told from the lines on my hand, or the shape of my ear nd face, i still feel unknow about my future.we are all struggling coz we cannot forecast, we are anxious to know the unknow things but still be afraid of knowing sth bad. are we fool? everyone is a fool.
i had dinner with zhangmin tonight nd we talked about lots of things. marriage, work, nd life. she said that when we r growing up, we are more and more clear to know that we need to go through a lot of things. life is about experience. we learn it from our daily work, from our failure and from our pain. but it is all precious nd unique. maybe we will complain that life goes too fast that we do not learn sth in time. but chances are always sliping away when you r careless, leaving you only regret.
what we r looking for in this world? do we have clear goals? is it really worthful for our sacrifice?
i have no idea....maybe a fortune teller can say.....
lets ask the fortune teller....
7/25/2008 once again,,moviei watched a movie couple days ago, called....ah...wat's its name? anyway, i was impressed, by both the bloody scene and the formula it mentioned in the movie. the movie is about how a woman who was onced tortured by a group of gangsters took revenage. the woman was tortured for nearly four hours and the gangsters at last made a deal with her that they can stop torturing her unless she killed her mother by herself by gun shooting. the woman finally chose to end her mother's life to save herself, and even she was alive, she was so regret what she had done to her mother that she could not forgive those people and decided to let them pay.she came up to each one in the group that took part in the criminal incident, and tortured them by using the way they used to do on her, killing them one by one. the spirit in the movie is that the woman found a formula on the genetic basis, illustrating that human are repeating doing sth that they cannot control, whoever they are, how high the education they are taking, they just copy their genes themselves. mybe you r quite confused about it, the woman showed a good experiment for you. she grabed one of the gangster together with someone who the gangster loves, for instance, grandmom. she tortured the gangster untill he pressed the botton to electrocute his grandmom. one life for one, and the woman believed that no one could pass the test, humans are weak, they only can sacrifice others to keep themselves away from pain and death, nomatter how deep they love. there is no love in this world, all the relationships between us, father, mother, son, daughter, wife, husband, they are just someone, never gonna replace man itself. does human really cannot be testified? are we really under controlled by our human genes? finally, one cop passed the test, he proved that he can bear all the suffering for his love, although he is gay who is falling love with one gangster of the group. the woman said: there is no love, just finish his life and you will be released. the cop said: dont make me do this to hurt him, please kill me. the cop was dead, and his love was rescued, and the woman felt relieved. someone did sth that she and other people failed to do, and she gave up her enmity and called the police.
is it worth for the cop to give in his own life for someone? is this called love? is love should be like this? we are all selfish, and i think it's our human nature. what you gonna do when this stuation is on you? how you gonna choose? your love? or just yourself? 7/22/2008 Over the hedgei have been through difficult times these days with Seve, we quarraled, and i once thought that it was going to end.too much sorrow, too much pain, that is not the essense for love, rgt? my friends once told me that most couples cannot come through 6 months, the two sides showed up to be breakup, or trust nd love each other more than ever.i doubt which one we gonna get.
To compensate my loss in feeling, i download some cartoon movies these days which are really funny that make me laughing all the way. i am goin to recommend you guys a good movie called over the hedge. you might have heard it or even watched it, nd it is really a movie worth watching. the story is simple, not too much clues or fluctuations, but it still tells people sth. the point of the whole movie, in my view, is going to tell us how we gonna manage our relationship with our families. talking about families who actually are the closest people around us, we should aware that only they will never gonna hurt us, betray us nd always sacrifice themselves to help us.sometimes we just cannot see the value of them and sometimes we even think they cannot compare to our friends or lovers.but the truth is, they are never unnecessary, nd there is nothing we cannot share with them. the point is the communication between us. how we gonna find a best way to communicate with our families,especially when we had done sth wrong or bad.usually we r afraid of being scolded nd punished, so we hide all the faults nd secrets inside, however, when the time it blows up,everything is gone. that is really really a silly work.
i went to see dentist yesterday, i was afraid going there b4, but it worked quite smoothly in the procedure. now i feel more ease to go there on thursday, so does Seven. he's gonna accompany me wherever i am, whatever situation i am in. this is what i think he will, is it true? go and ask him!~
6/10/2008 capableit is rainin, rainin outside, and the weather is becoming colder, maybe it's good for me coz even i stayed in hotplace for three years,i still cannot bear the high temperautre nd sun burning. these days, (y i always begin like this) i am working on my visa application issues, i have come to some difficulties nd it seems to be overcome already. my french class has finished, nd it is shame that i did not really pay attention to it. when there is something else attracts me, my focus will always be shifted. that is too bad, coz i didnt achieve my intended level, i waste my chance again. maybe i have changed my value now coz nothing can compare with that thing now.
i watched a Thailand ghost movie the day be4 yesterday, nd found it's really worth watching. it's not simply a ghost movie which only contains horror scene nd music, but it's something talking about human nature, the weakness nd dark side of people. happiness can turn to become disaster at once, only if people find that it gets in the way of his success. close friends or even lovers can be betrayed or abandoned only if people find that they r no longer useful nd become nuisane. there is no promise, everthing is under the control of people. things can easily change, feeling can easily change, but people never regret, never give in. they only try to hide deep inside their memory, hoping they r only lookers. but noone is just lookers, nd people should pay for wat they have done. if they cannot let the memory go or they cannot forgive wat they have done to others, they seperate another personality which is pure nd innocent nd live under it so that they will no longer be borthered by the pass nd get some forgiveness.
yesterday's American's next top model, one competitor said: we are all capable of being succeeded, the point is whether we dare to step further nd pay efforts on it. it is really true that no one can be successful without going throught setbacks, or experiencing frustration, ups nd downs, but you gotta keep holding on to ur goal, whenver, wherever, just stick to it nd u will have courage to go on nd on.....until u r on the top.
ps: for seven, i just wanna say, thank you, nd i will keep my promise nd wait the day you come to me with ur promise, and i am sure at that time, i am gonne say "Yes"
4/23/2008 sex and the cityi was so lazy to renew either of my blog, and i seemed to be quite busy these weeks. i have passed the driving license test and now have the permission to drive. i also have made my final decision to go to the university of Edinburgh coz i think the subject turns out better outcome. i am prepareing the visa material and hope that everything goes soomthly. i am falling love with some one i coule never think to be good like that. we had a promise and we are up to it. he forced me to tell everyone that i was engaged when i went out coz he thought that by showing this condition, i would not be stolen by other guys. silly, silly boy, dont you know how much i love you? i will never change and i will keep my love and wait, until the day you propose to me. i dont need u to buy me anything, i just want you. i dont mean that i really need a guy who is graduated from Oxford or Cambrige, just be urself, do what you want to do, and it is enough. i am really drown in ur love, ur passion, ur comprehend. you said i was the most important, even more than ur family and i was sooo touched by hearing this. i am also sooo involved now and i could not help thinking of u. i will be there, waiting for u, and i promise i will not give anyone the chance to stand in your place. you r already in my heart and it will go deeper and deeper.
The bones season three is still on the way to be released, so i turn to Sex and the city. i have already seen the season 1 and 2 when i was in Singapore and now i suddently found it had come up to season 6. am i really out of time? i skip 3,4,5 and come to 6 directly, and there is big changes for the four ladies who represnet four different characteristcs of woman. they all have come through difficult times, ending up some relationships and start looking for a new one. they all become mature and learnt how to make themselves live better from those failure in the past and they r now more confident and sophisticated. in the point of my view, i think SL is the most lucky girl who is ending up with a perfect marriage, although she divorced once, and even she cannot get a baby in the future, her marriage will still last and be fullfilled with happyness. M is also lucky coz finanlly she gets back together with Steve, and she might think it is a stupid decision coz Steve is not as good as her, and she need to sacrifice for their marriage and child to move out from Manhattan. however, as long as she thinks it is worthy, she would spent her rest life like that, just for her family. it is a bit shock that SA got a cancer at her 45, although it is only in the first stage, it is really dangerous. but it is soo sweet that her boyfriend who is about 20 years younger still wanna be with her, and wanna hold her hand for the whole life no matter how sick she is and that is a fabulous moving scene. for Carey, i dont know how to describe, her life just cannot settle down. how much should she love the Russian guy to make her give up havin a baby? is child mean nothin to woman in this morden society? how she gonna make a decision even when Mr Big is still involved in her life? i am really curious!
i begin to love the shoes and dress in this drama, high-heeled shoes, always attract girls with desire, although i even cannot stand wearing it. i am anxious to know wat my life will be in my 30s, and i am sure i will be more mature. i am confident, and wanna achieve self-value, and i am aheading to my dream, and ..... everything is on its track!
Today, i am quite confused about one thing: why people need to do things under the stare of others? why we have to bind up our hands just to prevent others from jealous? why there is comparison anywhere? cannot we just be simple? 3/27/2008 bonesThe spring is coming and my life seems to get onto a new start point. regular study of french, waiting for any message from the two universities, doing some kind of gym to keep slim, that are all the things i am doing these days. i went out with two of my friends on Tuesday and wendesday respectively, and i was surprised when one of my friend bought me a dress as my birthday gift, although my one is still far away. i really love the dress, love the color, and it is really the one that i am plannin to have. last night i went to see the national treasure 2 with david, and it is really a good movie which contains all codes, misteries, adventures and specilised knowledge in archaeology. i was led by the scene in the movie, feeling like that i was one of them chasing for the treasure and thinking about all the clues that might be helpful. i love this kind of movie and i also want to see the gloden compass which david had already seen and put a good comment on it.
all these weeks i was addictive in watching bones, a tv drama, kinda similar to CSI, but this one seems to be more professional. the staffs in the jeffinonia lab work on any kind of body remains and try to find the cause of death of the victim according to their scientific expertise which can be highly addmissonable evidence for the charge in the court. the doctor brennant is an anthropologist who has very high IQ together with excellent knowledge on human activities but is very poor at social relationship and communication.her parents disappeared when she was only 15 and she spend all her life chasing after her parents. her partner, FBI agent Booth is a strong man who worked in the army as a sniper, and he cares about brennant a lot. i perceive that it may not becuase that they r partners, but more than that, i think booth has feeling on brennant, somethin that even himself cannot tell and this tied them together and hard to tear them apart. Hodgins, another expert on bugs, plants and chemicals who can easily find how long has the victim died by analysing the speed of decomposing of the body remains just through watching the life cycle of the bugs or plants found inside or around the body. Amazing! Zeck, the youngest staff in the lab who has just got his doctor degree and is willing to work in the lab together with his collegues. he is good at human organs and usually he comes to the crime secne with Brennant to identify the wounds and the obvious cause of death on the body remains, and when they come back to the lab, he is the one who is responsible to clean the remains and take off all the decomposed organs or muscle, leaving only the bones.Angela, a beautiful girl who has half blood of Chinese, she is an artist, and she can use her painting skill to recreate the image of the victim to help identify the victim by using the skull of the victim. she is an easy-goin person and Hodgins is kinda fall in love with her. she is Brennant's best friend who will give advices and take care of Brennant when there is difficulte with her.
the drama reflects the reality of the society and tells people that life is cruel. people kill each other for a lot of reasons. self-protection, jealousy, money, love, some even just want to be recognized by the world, or be curious about the risky criminal life. people are crazy, the world is crazy, even there is regulations, the murderer still can find ways to squeeze through the hole and satisfy their freakish need. how could we save the world, how we can let it be peace and safe, and how we can let it heal?
i really anxious about it! 3/3/2008 what a fooli was so studpid that i made this kind of mistake, i addressed an email to a wrong university!! i think that everything is over and my hope is gone, which made me down all this weeks, but now i suddenly realize that hope is still there but i just so fool that i turn my face against the wall. i have never been so excited like tonight when i know the truth, and i am really glad that i can still be on the way towards Edinburgh. i should have known it, my efforts will not be wasted, and i should have read the instrctions and requirements carefully so that i will have more confident on my application. luckly, now i understand i still have great chance and i am motivated again to wait, for the final decision, even there may still be the same answer.
i need to calm down, at this moment, when everything is urgent. i cannot let myself mess up my plan, my life and my decision. i know my standard and what i can do is put my level onto theirs and just wait, to see whether my one can be accpeted. it may require kinda luck, but i would like to try, the first time in my life. it will never be an end but a begining, towards my success, my dream and my future. yes, i would rather be anything but ordinary! and i must remember it anytime i face what i dont want to face, and be strong to fight, to exist. life is cruel and we need to know the reality of the society. pity and mercy is never the one we seek, we are ahead to a brilliant future which is created by our own hands and never be defeated.
tomorrow is always another day and there is always a hope. " there can be miracls, when you believe, though hope is frail, it is hard to kill." i am preparing, i am waiting, i am fighting!! 2/14/2008 difficultiesi met some kinda difficulties, although it is not too much, it made me feel nervous. i should have known that things cannot go smoothly, and i should be ready for the every trouble that comes along to me. i just hope that everything can be simple, but never the reality. yes, i do need to resubmit my two referee letters which can be a big trouble,but as i am looking forward to enter into their university, i need to follow their steps, meet their requirements. i think it will be handled soon, and hope after doing these, my offer can be received soon. my Edinburgh, pls let me be one part of you, and i will really feel proud to be a graduate from ur campus. confusing now...really dont have any idea about it! tough process, can it bring brilliant future? 1/21/2008 Sony errission M608ci decide to change my handphone into Sony Errission M608c. i have never used this brand and now i wanna give it a try. i have been loving it when the first time i saw it in Singapore when one of my classmates bought it, however, the price was a bit hight for me at that time. but now the price has already fell into 2680 which in my view is more reasonable to the market, and i make my mind to it. i planned to buy a handphone of Sharp coz i love the model of 903i and i saw on the website that a new model is about to hit the market in the late Jan, the Sharp 703i. however, i cannot wait that long coz my mother's old one is nearly broken down, and since there is no selling store in China for Sharp handphone, i need to buy this one from online shop or even some black market which i think is quite risky. so, it will be much safer and better to buy one that i can trust and can get a gurantee.
i am still working on my master application. the material that i need is still on the way to be collected, hoping this time everything can go smoothly and i can successfully send all the documents to the uni before Chinese new year and can get an offer soon.(This is my New Year Wish, i make it earlier)
these days i have to attend the driving lessons class every night, only for theory, which will be lasted for 5 days. i really dont want to go coz it is raining heavily and it is soo cold outside and even inside of the class room ( how come the classroom without air-con??). i was frozen and i cannot feel my feet, my hand and my nose. lucky, there are only two days left and the exam will be held on 28th of this month....wish my good luck la! 1/11/2008 friendsthese days, i have been working on "friends" and have just finished the season 1 and start for the next. i once thought it would be nothing more but a boring tv drama which is just like those korean ones that talk about love and kind of thing. but after i watched it, i really regret that i did not start to watch it earlier. the story is amazing, reflecting the reality of life of some American citizens. talking about their growing, their lives with families and friends, their desire for the jobs and love. this is not gonne be any hero story, but the most ordinary person, just like most of us.we do not need to fight for the whole world, but just for ourselves, and even our relatives.
i love Ross, and it is not the apperence issue but the personality. i think he is quite cute and always makes fun of life which makes all the surrounding people feel happy, and he is really a concentrated man that he cares a lot of his ex-wife even they were devoiced and his wife became a lesbian. he is kindhearted that is why he adopted the lovely monkey which left him lots of trouble and he is so optimistic that he stickes onto his way of living and never complain the unfaireness of life. that is the real guy that i am admire. be strong when it needs to be strong and be kind when it needs to be kind. he can share his happness, his success and even his sadness with his friends and appreciate every little help they give him. this makes me feel lucky to have friends who have come a long way supporting me. they are all sweet and i should be sweet for them too.
those friends who i seldom contact with are still my good friends, we will contact with each other once we got free time. we are living in the busy world, and the distances in the geography may saperate us aprat, but never saperate us from our hearts. although we can only meet each other once a year or even much longer, we are still in each other's heart, and our relationship will never change. we chinese have a saying that" the relationship between gentalmen is just like water" , do not have currents but will be there every seconds, never run out. those who are friends now maynot be the friends forever, and it needs time to prove.
free time passes quickly, and i am gonne be busy soon, and i hope that my efforts will turn out to be success. there is no one i could depend on, but myself. i have already known the truth couple years ago, and i am waiting to become more mature to be competent fighting in my world!
1/2/2008 happy new yearrrrrhappy new year to all my friends and relatives! hope you guys can have a brand new year and be succeeded in everything that you do. i just come back from shanghai and spent new year celebration with my grandmum, uncle, aunty and cousin. we had dinner together celebrating the coming new year and gave good wishes to each other. also, we went for shopping and bought lots of things coz there is big discouts in some of the shopping malls. i bought a white short coat which is the one i was looking for a long time, and a trousers which can be worn with boots. i was really satisfied with the things i bought and my mother said it was the gifts that she gave to me as the new year presents. i am really appreciate about that. my cousin also bought something, eg. a black short coat and a winter hat. she said she now wanted the rock and roll style, so she needed to buy some kind of cool and rock clothes to match the skirts she bought from the "rock shop". my mother, only bought a pair of shoes which she was looking forward to coz it is really soft and is made of sheepskin. i once wanted to buy one pair of this kind of shoes when i was still in Singapore, but i think this one is much better and more suitable for her.
shanghai is cold, even colder than hangzhou, although i wore many clothes, i still cannot stand to the cold wind and it is really a tough thing to wait for a taxi in the cold wind. since i am going back to qingdao for the spring festival, i cannot imagine whether i can bear that down below zero temperature. i hope that i can stay in house and never go out.
i just asked lucy and she said that on the 16th of this month there will be a new term for French and i decided to go for it. i left my basic french class just for the IELTS, and now since i got lots of free time, i will continue. i hope this time i can really learn this language and have the basic ability to communicate in French so that i can go to France sometime for shopping !*_*
i received an english version song of "mouse love the rice" from Jessica, and she is really sweet. i will love her too, and will by her side every munite. we are best friends and the best couple in the world. wish both of us can find our happyness in the future and hope that we can meet each other before i go to UK. 12/24/2007 English speaking contestthis weekend i watched the CCTV Cup English Speaking Contest in CCTV-9. i was motivated by this program and understand that english learning is such a non-stop process that requires me to practice and improve it all the time. all the contesters are brilliant at english spoken, and not only their pronunciation is perfect, their senctences are well structured but also their knowledge and skills about english is wide and splendid. in the buzzer round, contesters are asked to guess the meaning of 6 uncommen used english words, and only three of the explanations are correct. i found these words are so difficult and even hard to read out, but some of the contesters are so good that they guess the meaning of the words by the structure of the words. for instance, the word ended with ~nair usually represents some kind of people. the next round, some quotations are given on the big screen and our contesters are required to guess who said these sentences. for me, i am really sorry that nearly none of the quotation is familiar to me but these great contesters, they can answer these questions approximately 80% correct. that is the huge gap between me and them. there is always a saying:" there is always higher mountain' which gives us a warning the dont be too confident about urself and there is always another person who is greater than you in the area that you might not know. so what we gonna do is not jealous of them but level up our onw abilities to shorten the distance with them.
and what should i do to improve my english? more reading, more listening, and more learning from others. the challenge is always unpredicted and only i have learned many cases of how to handle difficulties that i can know how to get over the challenge. what i've got seems not enough, especially after watching the competition game, and i am cheered up, coz i never give up the interest of learning language. i will continue, and i have plans for my future. sometimes it may not be useful for my career, but just for my interest, and for my self fulfillment.
by the way, Merry Christams to all my love friends and families. wish you guys can enjoy your time and be more competent in ur own area and never be defeated! 11/30/2007 wanna be on top?yesterday afternoon, i watched the "American's next top model" on ppstream. i had seen this tv program when i was in Singapore, and i found it an attractive project just as " project run way". this season, there are only 6 girls who are capable to be the Ameriacan's next top model and i perceive that Shalisa can stay till the last minute and be the winner. there are four girls who are quite outstanding, heather, lisa, bianca and shalisa. i think heather is an amazing girl who has a beautiful face and can create a wonderful image on the photo, however, since she is a disable person who cannot communicate freely with others, she failed to do all kinds of TV advertising or live show which requires the model to spreak and describe the products. lisa.... a tall and slim girl with the face looking like those vampires in acient times, and she is also quite good at express her poses and feelings on the photo, however, the juders think that she cares too much about the result which affects her emotion to be unsecure and difficult to get improvement. bianca, actually, i dont like her, because i think she is so mean........ she jealous of everyone who is greater than her and even she is quite hard-working, i know that her ability is not qualified to enter the final three...and only the person with the beauty inside can be elegant forever. for shalisa, she is a mart girl who knows how to learn quickly from others, her face is good, poses is perfect and she can coodinate with the tools well to make the photo become alive.... and that is her glamor.......
wanna be on top? that is the slogan of this program, and i know that every girl wants to be on the top level of fashion, so do i. but differently, i want to be on top on my specilised area, and step on step to be closer to my dream, and one day when i succeed, i may look back all the efforts i have made and be satisfied coz i have paid a lot and i am deserved to get those belongs to me!! i am sure about it!~~ 11/21/2007 i think i am happy now......i think i am happy now......
i have finished my ielts test and i am waiting for the result. i have met some people who were really kind to me and helped me a lot...
but there is alway something that i cannot control, and it did hurt me. i can do nothing, maybe it is my fault,,,but i just feel unhappy, how come this kind of things can happen to me all the time, wherever i am, in Singapore or back to China..... i need to think about it.
i did not mean to hurt someone, why somebody kept complaining that i did bad things to him..... why i cannot choose whom i want to be friend with? that is my right, in my thought. i have changed a lot, and i want to keep something that only belongs to me..... i dont want to lose my figure,my personality.... mybe it is not good, not acceptable, but,,,,it makes me stand out.
it's getting colder now, and i think i havent been used to it yet.... i have been leaving for so long time, and i really miss the sense here where i have grown up. it is familiar to me,,,,i know it.....i cannot forget it....and i will return to it
what should i do next? i am quite confused about it...i have no plan, although my dad had asked me many times to create a plan,,,but i just leave it......i want to have a rest...... i need time to think about what i gonna do and what kind of person i gonna be.... quite tough work......
time passed by, lots of things can fade away, what can be left in my memory? good things or bad things? i am really not sure...there are still many things that i need to handle,,,,, more and more troubles and difficulties will rush to me......i cannot imagine,,,,,but i know that i must face it.....coz i am 22 year old....i am becoming independent.....i am.......
no longer naive child....that is the reality.....
the world is fake, people are wearing masks, good things can turn bad at the back of you, soooooooo unpredicted....which force me....to wear a mask tooo....
then when can i take off my mask and be myself? why the society cannot accpet true people? why we know those people, those things are fake, we still need to show that we are willing to be friends with them?
who am i now, and who are they?
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am But you'll never know me Every day, is as if I play apart Now I see If I wear a mask I can fool the world But I can not fool my heart Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? Christina Aguilera When will my reflection show Who I am inside? I am now In a world where I have to hide my heart And what I believe in But somehow I will show the world What's inside my heart And be loved for who I am Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm When will my reflection show Who I am inside? There's a heart that must be free to fly That burns with a need to know the reason why Why must we all conceal What we think How we feel Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm Someone else For all time When will my reflections show Who I am inside? When will my reflections show Who I am inside? ------- reflection from Christina Aguilera 8/30/2007 goodbye, Singapore!Goodbye, Singapore!
i am about to leave,this time, i might never come back.
i have finished everything here, and left plenty of memories here, my study, my friendship, my love...
but it's all gone
i keep the good one, drop the bad one
thanks to Singapore,
during these three years, i have learnt a lot, i have become mature a lot.
i am no longer the naive child who just graduated from senior school, now i am a undergraduate student who seek a higher postgraduate certification to improve further of my financial knowledge.
i have been known what i keep improving myself all the time...since the day i knew that there was no way for me but went abroad....i was shame about that....for me, the proud girl, should never be like that..
but it is worth
at least, i lower my head and be more sincere
learn how to make myself wiser
i have been keeping learning,
all the time
from all the things taht i was gone through
and i know that
people can only know how to stand up when he/she knows how to fall down
and i have fallen down into the deep sea
now i am swing my wings to fly into the sky again...
all the happiness,all the sadness
all the friends, all the enemies
i keep all u into my deep heart
and when i am old
i will treasure this experience with all the people who love me or hate me
boz, this is my growing experience....
my college experience...
i have missed a lot
and i want them back
so i try
hope
my future is coming
so, dear everyone
pls
give me courage
and
luck
to help me supplementing my dream
thanks~!
8/19/2007 happy birthday to mehappy birthday to me
happy birthday to us
happy birthday to sophie and jessica
even in the foreign country, without families,
i still feel happyness around me
thanks for my little sister WH for buyiing me the tasty chocolate birthday cake
and celebrating with me
really thankful
also,
need to thank MR moniter, who did not have time to enter my birthday celebration but still brought me some gifts.......
thanks, u've helped me a lot
and i will remember that
i will be home soon
and i am facing another challenge
but i am fully confident
yes
i trust myself
i am
no more that naive girl
i am much muture now
and
i know how to fight
for my
own dream..... 8/11/2007 sick againi am sick again...this is the second time i got this pain....the first time happened when i was sitll in my AD, still with my ex... last time, i cried loudly, feeling i was going to die, but this time, i am stronger, even i nearly went to coma, but, no single tear is found on my face......
i was fine in the morning, prepearing to go for my basic french lesson, i thought i would be ok, however, when i reached the class, i felt terrible, i even cannot stand,,,,,i felt so weak....so i rushed to Jessica's class, and ask her to send me home....she was really sweet, she absent her class and send me home....i am really greateful about that....that is call friends
also want to mention the taxi driver, he is also quite sweet, he heard i said i felt cold, then he just turened down the air-con for me and keep asking jessica whether i was ok.....
but i know i was not ok...at least at that time....but after i took some pills and slept for a while, i was ok then....
i dont know why it could become like this,,, this does not happen all the time, but every time it happened i cannot stand....i am afraid one more time i would be dead.
sign....what i suppose to do now? i don;t know, i cannot predict when it will come again.....
whatever, i am fine now.....i hope i can take good care of myself.....until i come back home
8/3/2007 those who.....those who once were my friends are no more my friends, we even seldom say hi to each unless we are eye to eye... those who once were not my friends are becoming close friends of my, and we hand out everyday to school, ro go shopping....like a true friend!! but some of those who once were my friends are still my friends now. but, quite a few.... who is going to be my friends in the future, or who is going to still be with me untill the future? i am looking forward to it becuase i always know friendship can last forvever but only for true friends! 7/25/2007 are u busy?are you all busy, my friends? i was quite busy these days.... my lesson will be ended next week and i must prepare assignments and exams for both subjects...that's quite a lot of efforts to put!! i spent all day in national libarary yesterday with Jessica and we first try to use bloomberg for collecting data and graphs for our TRM assignment....however.....no matter how hard we try...we still can not get the point....thus,,,i may go there agian....but before that....let me ask our lecturer or MR. Tan! actually, may TRM is nearly done, however, my SAPM has not started yet..i really don't know what is the point for this assignment....but i must begin to work on it....or i will have no time...thus, i plan to go to UOB tomorrow morning....hoping i can get as much information as i can! i am quite happy, because i received the B+AB dress brought in HongKong!! it's my second time do online shopping....i think i am lucky enough cause most of my things reached my expectation, however, it's quite troublesome to pay the money....i have to ask my friends in China to help me...thanks for flora and dongdong!! love u all^___^ just watched criminal minds last night......it's quite good....however,i still prefer CSI cause in CM, they jump their clues or minds so fast that i sometimes cannot follow....i am really not professional at that....but i hope i could be..... i have a nightmare last night about some ghosts or dead people or super killer who chased after me....and i spent whole of my dream thinkin how to run away from them....too bad....maybe i watched too much these kind of movie.....although i am nearly used to have this kind of nightmare....i hope i will not have it anymore....cause it makes me tired........ it's raining heavily outside...and i am ready to go for me afternoon class! good luck to me and see all ur guys next time!!~ 7/12/2007 bad luck these days...these days, seems not to be lucky enough, have a little fever two days ago and still feel sick today, and my computer crash down agian which forces me to buy one home edition software for windows that costs me 200 SGD!! my heart pains....... hope this time will not be any problem in the future.
these days, only have 2 day class, and i enjoyed my holidays cause from next week i will not have any breaks till the exam....and i will be quite busy for both assignment and exam.....
these days, miss home so much....don;t know why....just feel lonely and sad......
i hope i can get back to my hometown as soon as possible, but i cant, i still need to stay here to continue my study, to continue to work......untill i become super competitive in the financial market......
still 3 more years to go......still can not live with my family......
but i think it's worth.....
i am sure i will make it be worthy....
all my efforts, will be transfered into my future success....
i believe in that 6/25/2007 busy...these days...these days, quite busy...even it is the first week in this term, i feel that i am in the revision lessons near the exam...maybe others still haven't got into study,but for me,,,i am alreday in the mood to fight for the last term.
this term is quite important because this last two subjects are the most difficult one in our course and if i did bad in this two, my apply for master may become even difficult.
these days i have asked some information about SMU and UTC... i was planned to apply UTC becuase it's quite a famous university in ASIA, and also i am interested in one of its financial course called banking and finance. however, yesterday my mom told me that she had come to aske for me that SMU is also a popular school especially for finance subjects in nowadays, although it's maynot as famous as NUS or UTC,but for a job which is specialized in finance or banking, SMU seems to be a better choice....anyway,,,, i will ask some of my lecturers here to get more information and suggestions.
unfortunitely, these days i found that if i want to apply the master in Singapore, i still need to take GMAT exam....which i heard is quite difficult, and even does not have any learning class in Singapore...thus, i may selfstudy....god.....that will be a big tough thing for me.....
besides, i have applied a French course last week... but i have to wait until next 21th for my first lesson....i have been thinking toward it for long, and now i will give my effort to it, hoping that i can learn the basic French well!!*_____*
6/1/2007 back from beijingjust come back from beijing,during this five days trip, me and my parents have been to many places of interest, such as the forbidden city, the great wall, and so on.....
the weather was quite hot these days and we all feel very tired becuse it's quite a long journey to be visited.
this is my first time visiting beijing ,and i was very excited coz i was dreaming about going to see the most famous city of China, and look deeper into the chinese history and culture. unfortunitely, many places are being rebuilt at this time for the 2008 beijing olympic games, thus, we can not visit all the places that we intend to be.....
also, five days seems not to be enough for visiting beijing, i am sure that i will visit it again in future years, to lean more about the custom and culture of beijingnese.
i put some photos on both of my english and chinese blog, hope u guys can share the happiness with me!~ |
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